Fellow wonks, a dark day has fallen upon us.
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“It’s been a wild ride, Class of 2021, we hope you continue to live your best, Wonkiest lives for all of the years to come.”
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“Mourning students spent hours poring over the email looking for a remembrance, or even mere acknowledgement for the death of the ever-unpopular WONK campaign of years past. But to no avail.”
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“I acted like I didn’t care because I wanted to be cool, but I really care a lot, turns out I have a lot of shits to give.”
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“OMG, Wellness Week is such a vibe. Like, I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. I am just so well right now,” said Kina Noying, a sophomore in SOC. “I just have so much time now. I can’t wait to like read a book or explore the city or something.”
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Satan will be on campus this Saturday showcasing a number of employment opportunities within his multi-national company.
AU Admin Responds to Community Frustrations and Burnout
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Considerations for a graduating senior on being “morally neutral”
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“Gmail is the virtual version of the McDonald’s parking lot at mile 242 where your dad picks you up.”
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