sylvia burwell — The Rival American

How to Write an Email, as Told by Sylvia Burwell

Campus, SatireThe Rival AmericanAugust 16, 2021sylvia burwell, emmy goyette, email, Campus, campus life, satire

Remembering the Class of 2021: A Wonky Highlight Reel

“It’s been a wild ride, Class of 2021, we hope you continue to live your best, Wonkiest lives for all of the years to come.”

“Wellness week is good, actually,” says Student Whose Classes Got Cancelled

“OMG, Wellness Week is such a vibe. Like, I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. I am just so well right now,” said Kina Noying, a sophomore in SOC. “I just have so much time now. I can’t wait to like read a book or explore the city or something.”

Campus, SatireRow SullivanMarch 15, 2021Wellness Week, sylvia burwell, American University, american

Satan is Hiring!

Satan will be on campus this Saturday showcasing a number of employment opportunities within his multi-national company.

Satire, CampusThe Rival AmericanMarch 11, 2021Satan, satire, lucifer, devil, American University, sylvia burwell

“We Hear You!” Wellness Week Rebrands As Unwellness Week

AU Admin Responds to Community Frustrations and Burnout

You Too Can Be a Changemaker!

Considerations for a graduating senior on being “morally neutral”

CampusThe Rival AmericanFebruary 24, 2021changemaker, American University, The Rival, The rival american, sylvia burwell

Unconditional Pass/Fail: A Hope for a More Understanding Grading System

Despite 35 student organizations and over 770 students signed on to the petition to allow unconditional pass/fail to no avail, students continue to push for a more understanding system

Sylvia’s Declassified School Survival Guide

CampusThe Rival AmericanDecember 7, 2020sylvia burwell, American University, The rival american, zoom, zoom university, ned's declassified, survival

AU Announces School of Miscommunication

Campus, SatireThe Rival AmericanNovember 17, 2020american, American University, The Rival, The rival american, sylvia burwell, burwell, SOC, SOM, micommunication

A Crytpid Apology

Shriek WeekThe Rival AmericanOctober 29, 2020American University, The Rival, The rival american, Halloween, horror, cryptid, ghost, sylvia burwell