BREAKING: President Sylvia Burwell announced AU's new brand campaign "LIKE A BOSS!" to replace the previous WONK campaign launched in 2011

by Talia Marshall

with contributions from Natalie Peek

On Monday, students received an email announcing AU’s new brand campaign, LIKE A BOSS! Mourning students spent hours poring over the email looking for a remembrance, or even mere acknowledgement for the death of the ever-unpopular WONK campaign of years past. But to no avail.

The email opened with an excited narrative from President Burwell, who wrote “🤣 🤣 I found this new app called, I think, ‘iFunny’ and it really inspired me. We considered U MAD BRO?, but after input from experts, settled instead on LIKE A BOSS!”

This new campaign also means a change in AU’s colors. While the university still plans to honor the red, white, and blue of its namesake, this campaign will keep the blue, add some purple, and fade the red to pink. “We hear blue, purple, and pink are very popular with the majority of AU students--I hear they call them bi colors, which I assume means bipartisan colors? Either way, we support it,” Burwell explained.

Students upset about the end of the wonk campaign need not cry too hard--wonk cat is here to stay (for now), though they will be changing the cat’s name to Grumpy Cat to really bring us into 2012… I mean 2021. “Grumpy Cat just had such a nice ring to it, and when we looked it up it seemed like something students would like,” Burwell said, again referring to iFunny.

The Rival reached out to President Burwell for comment but received a curt response -- she was having her iFunny time. Instead, we spoke with her 21-year old niece, who said, “Aunt Sylvia keeps asking me about me me’s, and I’m like, why are we changing grandma’s name? Just kidding, I know what a meme is. Apparently the WONK campaign had been over-memed, so they decided to go for something a little safer. I encouraged them.”

Students who wish to reminisce about the WONK campaign are welcome to speak with Grumpy Cat, who will be holding office hours “never” according to a statement released this morning on iFunny.