You Too Can Be a Changemaker!

by Natalie Peek

So you’re a graduating senior, or you’ve already graduated, and you’re in the 10% of majors in your school who have yet to find employment or a graduate program to fill your time and empty your spirit. What to do? You’ve spent 3-5 years at a university that grows public servants, meant to be changemakers, and you’re ready to take on that role. 

Maybe you’re concerned because you’ve accrued an ungodly amount of debt. Fear not, you have plenty of options! You likely went to college to learn enough to be a Good Person who wants to Change The World once you graduate. But all of the Good Person jobs don’t pay a lot. I present a term for you to consider: Moral Neutrality. Much like carbon neutrality, you can still do bad things but balance them out with good things so the total impact is basically ok. A carbon neutral workplace can profit from oil stocks as long as they balance it out with a solar energy farm in another state, or so I’ve been told. As there are a multitude of ways to be carbon neutral and still make money, there are plenty of options in the way of moral neutrality.

Consider selling your soul to a bad corporation to pay off loans, and after your debts have been paid to the government or private lender, doing a Good Person job that takes down said bad corporation. Have your cake and eat it too! Another popular route that is a good future investment (monetarily) is to find a significant other to support you that makes like a bajillion dollars or something, while you maintain a Good Person job. Moral neutrality could mean marital bliss! 

You may say, “but I took a required theory class and I’m more of a ‘means’ not an ‘ends’ person!” Look, the world is full of grey areas. Graduation and life await, and there’s no safety net for us in the good ol’ US of A, so aim for moral neutrality now, changemaker. It’s like a credit score. You can probably change it later and it won’t have any big, bad effects, right?