Calling out all the Jordan Belfort wannabes and control-freak politicians
Read More
“We understand why people dislike AU for certain reasons, we do too, but I don’t think that lack of support should reflect onto our athletics. Our athletes and teams need support from the community, and they are fun games to watch! And I’m not talking just about [only] men's basketball, literally every sport”
Read More
We heard AI was coming for our jobs, so we set out to see how concerned we should be. We gave Chat GPT the prompt “Write a 500 word satirical article about American University. Include main characters Sylvia Burwell, Clawed Z Eagle, and Wonk Cat. Make the story take place in The Bridge Cafe and be sure to make the story humorous,” and had it write and this article for us. The cover image was generated through NightCafe, an AI imaging software, with the prompt “Sylvia Burwell and Clawed Z Eagle.”
Read More
The “Abolish-AUSG” Senator-elect Chandler Eby received an email at 1 AM on Friday notifying him that the AUSG judicial board secretly voted 3-1 that he was unfit for office.
TW: rape, blood, bodily fluids, dark themes
Read More
Let me be clear, this isn’t something I get paid for, or that I do because it’s fun, or because I believe there’s a level of political gain. Anyone who has any knowledge of survivorship or sexual violence can tell you that speaking out about it scares people in power. They can also tell you that survivors and those who advocate for them are forced out of political and social arenas as well. But I do this work because I want to help people.
Read More
a poem. TW: sexual assault and dark themes
Read More
Until this day, he had never questioned his staunch belief in the importance of masks. Now, poor Toby was overcome with a wave of fear as he looked out into a crowd of blonde, converse-wearing, Kramer’s tote bag-carrying, jean-flaring, crystal necklace-bearing, she/her’s and she/they’s of American University. He didn’t even know if she had a septum piercing. Any of them could be Jane from his Gov class who he had asked out to coffee
Read More
Does this prove life after death? Students at American University have reported sightings of a spirit haunting their campus- specifically the places where students leave the electric scooters some use to get from one place to another.
Read More
Have you ever wished you could give someone the fright of their life on Halloween night, but your wardrobe is just not up to par? Never fear! I have taken the liberty of listing 7 terrifying conversion starters you can use to ensure no one will talk to you for the rest of the night.
Read More
In order to help out all of the wonderfully slutty wonks of this campus, I've compiled a list of costumes that are both slutty and show school spirit. Who isn’t proud to be a wonk? Actually, don’t answer that question.
Read More
We are pleased to report that AUSG has officially endorsed The Rival, an organization that has run articles telling AUSG to “just have an orgy like normal people,” as a legitimate news source.
Read More