By Rat Momano

American University students are deeply opposed to authority, but the overwhelming majority are kids who never received the most basic accolade of a rebel: a detention. You’d think a student body so focused on resumes would notice this such a blatant deficiency in their qualifications to embark on careers centered around radicalism. So often, these people will moan and groan about how the rules are not fair, but they won’t even challenge authority in basic ways like smoking weed in their dorm rooms (Editor’s note: The Rival does not endorse smoking weed in your dorm rooms). I’m tired of the “metric of wokeness” just being your resume of good deeds, your theory knowledge, or even your personal experience. It should be how much you’re down for necessary mischief.

It’s hard to come to terms with, I get it. High achieving individuals with fleshed out moral principles have trouble realizing their shortcomings, especially in the political arena. But it’s pretty simple: most of you never have never talked back to an adult, but sit there thinking about methods of resisting oppressive power structures for hours every day. Doesn’t this seem a bit silly? I gotta be honest, I liked the rebellious efforts for the AU staff union strike… but we’re lucky we were successful without setting anything on fire.

In May 1970, American University students looked very different, but there was a day where they resembled (some of) us in a surprising way: they wore masks. Of course, these masks served a different purpose, the purpose of nullifying the effects of tear gas. As a response to the deaths at Kent State as well as the broader issue of the war in Vietnam, students stormed Ward Circle, eventually provoking a police response that led to multiple arrests. In addition to clogging traffic, they held a concert in the amphitheater. People camped out in sleeping bags inside MGC, and among other things, they successfully caused a ruckus.

(Cops take down protester in Ward Circle, May 1970)

Sure, there isn’t a war going on right now (wait…are we still in the Middle East?? It’s hard to keep track of at this point), but if there was, I doubt it would elicit this kind of passionate response from our students. Why do I say that? Well, because there are a whole host of things that are egregiously wrong in this country and all I’m seeing are infographics. I see everyone worried about their rights slipping away, but they spend their time with campus organizations that are not even close to being based. For the love of God, we do not need you to bring another neoliberal guest speaker to campus. We need chaos and destruction. Why? I’m glad you asked, because I made a silly little list.

Here is a list of things to get riled up about:

The Title IX office isn’t on campus, doesn’t have an in-person staff, and allegedly has under 10 employees.
Despite earning the label Carbon Neutral, AU still uses coal and fossil fuels. Probably bad.
Student debt relief/lower tuition (sure this is a national issue, but we could collectively organize in DC with the almost 100,000 students living here)
Encourage US support of peace talks in Ukraine. We literally live right next to our government officials yet we don’t demand our voices be heard by them.

I’m sympathetic to this argument: people with no political experience should not be elected to high government offices for the same reason that you would not let a person without training perform the responsibilities of a doctor. But you wouldn’t call someone a doctor if all they can do is diagnose your problems, they have to be able to solve them. And that’s the thing about AU. A medical school has kids learning how to do surgeries. A film school has kids teaching themselves how to make movies. A school like AU should have kids teaching themselves how to blow shit up.

American University Students ‘Hate Authority’ But Were Kissasses in High School