Breaking News: Mysterious Ghost Haunts Electric Scooters on Campus
By Nora Lewis
Does this prove life after death? Students at American University have reported sightings of a spirit haunting their campus- specifically the places where students leave the electric scooters some use to get from one place to another.
One student, who chose to remain anonymous for fear of paranormal retaliation, told the Rival about their interaction with the ghost: “Yeah, I dropped my scooter in the middle of the sidewalk like I always do, and suddenly these invisible hands pushed me into the middle of the road. I guess it was mad at me? I don’t know, but I lost all of the extra time I had from scootering instead of walking, which sucks.”
Another avid scooter user claimed they were attacked while riding their scooter. This student states that while they were scootering down Massachusetts Ave., an “unseen force” pushed them off their scooter. They go on to explain: “I was coming up on someone walking, and they wouldn’t get out of the way! I ring the little bell that doesn’t work- as a courtesy, mind you- and they still don’t move. So I start yelling, but I guess the headphones they were wearing were actually playing music, so they didn’t hear me. I’m about to crash into their sorry ass and I start to brace for impact when I get SLAMMED into the grass. The person I almost hit seemed fine, but my hair got all messed up!”
The Rival has also received reports of scooters moving on their own. Scooters that were left in the middle of the sidewalk for people to trip on were suddenly moved to the side and out of the way. The ones abandoned in parking spots were pushed onto the curb to allow cars to use the spaces. While it is not confirmed, this could be the work of the “invisible hands” of our very own campus ghost.
After hearing multiple claims of a scooter-hating ghost, the Rival Investigations Team went to work. The team uncovered an obituary of a student killed in a freak electric scooter-related accident. It seems that the student was crossing the street when a flock (gaggle? Herd? Murder?) of scooter drivers ambushed them on the crosswalk. Could this be the identity of our scooter-hating-specter?
At the time of publication, the ghost has not responded to calls, texts, emails, or Ouija board summonings. The Rival will update readers as soon as our Investigations Team has heard back from the Ghostbusters for some advice.