The views of this article do not reflect the views or values of The Rival as a whole. The Rival loves Halloween.
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Yes, my brain was rotted and destroyed from the inside out by exposing myself to the 1975’s music video for their song “Robbers” when I was 13. Apparently, I am not alone in this experience, since so many people on Twitter keep talking about their latest album, Being Funny in a Foreign Language, that dropped on October 14.
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We are pleased to report that AUSG has officially endorsed The Rival, an organization that has run articles telling AUSG to “just have an orgy like normal people,” as a legitimate news source.
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As much as I love you, Taylor, I do need to eat. Unless you’re handing out Trader Joe’s grocery packages at your tours free of charge, I guess I’ll go hungry for a week!
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And to think it will only get colder…
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Remember, it's not what you can do for misogyny, it's what misogyny can do for you.
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I’ve heard about people like the Buddha or Socrates, but I don’t think this guy was in the same league as those figures. In my opinion, we still ought to understand how people like him fit into our world and how they come to be.
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Each character has their own separate arc, and it’s almost hard to keep up with the shifting alliances. With each passing episode, my roommate and I found ourselves asking the same question: what would the characters of Succession be like as American University students?
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You DO NOT want to miss out on getting in at the ground floor. Think of it like investing in Amazon when Jeff Bezos started his company with NOTHING except for a $300,000 investment from his parents. Or like befriending Elon Musk when he was just a scrappy South African teen walking around with quarter million dollar emeralds in his pocket from his father’s apartheid-era mine. Remember when everyone made fun of Bitcoin? This is a lot like that. Join now!
A very small, independent, underground film that had almost zero marketing or drama surrounding it was released this weekend. I couldn’t tell you what it was, though, because I was in theaters watching Don't Worry Darling.
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The many excuses a man chooses to exhaust to avoid therapy
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“For how fucking gay this schools is, we’re definitely going to make sure we have the most LGBTQ+ inclusive policies and resources” is certainly a thought you’d hope would go through administration’s head. That’d be a pretty good start in building a community of care and instilling that changemaker spirit. Challenge accepted, right?
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It’s time to talk about Barstool
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We at The Rival are feeling quite generous right now during finals week, so I’ve personally taken on the task of channeling the spirit of Janice from Mean Girls will give you a middle school cafeteria tour of all of the college students’ seventh graders to watch out for.
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I am not him. I wasn’t able to find myself until we were done. for good.
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Gay pirates being unhinged as they traverse the seven seas together— what more do you need from television?
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