The Rival American

Welcome to The Rival American, a university-unaffiliated media publication run by students, for students. We produce opinion editorials, culture critiques, student journalism, and even silly jokes.

Posts tagged Satire

AU Replaces Mental Health Services with Full Time Farmers Market

AU Replaces Mental Health Services with Full Time Farmers Market

Kayleigh Thompson writes on the latest change in American University’s Counseling Center - not having one.

Satire, CampusThe Rival AmericanNovember 6, 2019Satire

Parents Absolutely Outraged That Security Measures Apply to Them As Well

Parents Absolutely Outraged That Security Measures Apply to Them As Well

Natalie Peek writes on the duality of parents during Parents Weekend - safety for their children and not caring about those safety procedures

CampusThe Rival AmericanOctober 10, 2019Satire, Parents Weekend

Looking to appeal to the “Zoomer” Generation, AU adds Majors in Fortnite and Fidget Spinning

Looking to appeal to the “Zoomer” Generation, AU adds Majors in Fortnite and Fidget Spinning

Lucas Trevor reports on American University’s newest major created in attempts to appeal to the incoming Zoomer class.

Campus, SatireThe Rival AmericanSeptember 13, 2019Satire

Spice Up Your Life

Spice Up Your Life

CultureThe Rival AmericanApril 28, 2019Satire, Pride Week

Student Government Elections Come to Close, Campus Erupts into Business as Usual

Student Government Elections Come to Close, Campus Erupts into Business as Usual

Satire, CampusThe Rival AmericanMarch 27, 2019Satire, AUSG

American University leans into disgrace and creates new major

American University leans into disgrace and creates new major

Satire, CurrentThe Rival AmericanMarch 4, 2019Michael Cohen, Satire

Representation: The Dick Drawn On This Whiteboard is a Micropenis

Representation: The Dick Drawn On This Whiteboard is a Micropenis

Satire, CampusThe Rival AmericanFebruary 12, 2019Satire, sex week

If you can read this, stay away from AU!

If you can read this, stay away from AU!

Campus, SatireThe Rival AmericanJanuary 30, 2019snow, Campus, Satire

Art major loses jean jacket, sense of identity

Art major loses jean jacket, sense of identity

Satire, CultureThe Rival AmericanJanuary 24, 2019Satire, Campus

I’m a proud wonk

I’m a proud wonk

What it means to be a wonk

Campus, SatireThe Rival AmericanJanuary 24, 2019Campus, Wonk, Satire

The Wonkiest NBA Preview

The Wonkiest NBA Preview

Everything an AU Wonk needs to know for the 2018 season

CultureThe Rival AmericanJanuary 23, 2019Campus, Culture, Satire, Sports

OPINION: Dissolve American University Student Government and Replace it with a Framed Photo of Jeff Goldblum

OPINION: Dissolve American University Student Government and Replace it with a Framed Photo of Jeff Goldblum

Seriously, what more could go wrong?

CampusThe Rival AmericanJanuary 23, 2019Satire, Campus, Student Government