AU Replaces Mental Health Services with Full Time Farmers Market
by Kayleigh Thompson
After student outcry at the lack of well-rounded mental health services on campus, President Sylvia Burwell and Campus Life VP Fanta Aw have announced a plan to replace the AU Counseling Center (AUCC) in MGC 214 with full time rotating pop up stands that will sell various plants, organic fruits, baked goods, colorful tapestries, jewelry, and vinyls.
The decision comes after a survey found that students find more joy in spending their meager income on small pots of agave and aloe vera, loaves of bread, and fresh apple cider than from using AU’s mental health services. These incredibly limited services have been deemed some of the most disappointing and ineffective on campus, second only to AU Central.
For the last few years, pop up shops have been spreading across the quad, slowly taking control of weekly student life. Innocently beginning with a local farmer’s market that featured fresh fruit and vegetables, the shops have extended to include freshly baked bread that students use to fill their musty Anderson shelves.
These shops also feature small clay agave pots that grace McDowell windowsills and have names like “Harold,” and tapestries featuring swirly patterns that add a burst of color to the soft, egg-shell white paint that’s currently peeling off of the Federal Hall drywall. The shops on the quad have become a staple for students who feel trapped and dissatisfied in their on campus living experience, hoping to release the smallest ounce of serotonin whether through sourdough or 2/$5 succulent sales.
When asked in an interview as to why there are always crowds of students stopping at the weekly pop-up shops, student Wendy Wellington responded, “I use these little plants to cope with my impending failure to be the perfect Wonk.”
The former Counseling Center, notorious for short consultations, limited sessions with psychology grad students, free referrals to expensive off-campus doctors, and spontaneous group therapy sessions about random stuff, often took the brunt of Wonk anger over university facilities. Complaints from the student body, who would much rather cope with their problems by embracing materialism, have pushed AU to take transformative action.
In a press release from the Office of the President, AU leadership asserted, “We feel that allowing students to fill their 144 square ft living cubes with ‘feel good’ purchases will have a much more positive impact than what the previous AUCC could provide. This innovative step will take American University to the next level of promoting a positive and transformative student lifestyle.”
To address concerns about access to psychological resources, the quickly deteriorating counseling center has been granted the old tents used by the pop up markets and will be gracing the quad every Wednesday 12-4 until the weather gets too cold for the psych grad students to handle.
The new mental health services are expected to be implemented for the Spring 2020 Semester, a rapid development sure to make an appearance in the news every 90 seconds.