Representation: The Dick Drawn On This Whiteboard is a Micropenis

by Katey Clauson

WASHINGTON, DC — Could things finally be looking up for those who have a teeny weeny peeny? AU Freshman Steven Coogler thinks so.

“I was walking to get back my dorm, and when I got closer, that’s when I saw it,” Coogler recounts. On his dorm door whiteboard, a micropenis was drawn. His mother bought him the whiteboard from Target in order to prepare for his new life as a college freshman.

Coogler assumes the incident happened between Monday from 11:20 AM to 2:30 PM, a large gap due to a block class.

“I mean, when I saw it at first, I thought it was kind of weird because people usually draw, like, massive cocks.” Coogler is correct. 69% of penises drawn on whiteboards are deemed “massive” or larger.

“I thought this was a nice change of pace.” Coogler says. “The smaller penis, y’know? Like, let’s be realistic here.” He clarifies.

When asked about what this might mean for the micropenis community at American University, Coogler took things a bit further.

“As a person with a micropenis, it felt so nice to finally see myself represented in dorm vandalism. This feels like a big step.”