Welcome to The Rival American, a university-unaffiliated media publication run by students, for students. We produce opinion editorials, culture critiques, student journalism, and even silly jokes.
You’ve been sexiled. Welcome to a key pillar of the college experience! Here at The Rival, we feel your pain and want to help you figure out what to do now that you can’t relax in the comfort of your own bed. Here are a couple ideas of how to kill the next few minutes hours while your roommate gets it on.
Read MoreSo. You’re one of many who does not have a place to live on campus. Well guess what? That is entirely your fault and not American University’s.
Read MoreCalling out all the Jordan Belfort wannabes and control-freak politicians
Read More“We understand why people dislike AU for certain reasons, we do too, but I don’t think that lack of support should reflect onto our athletics. Our athletes and teams need support from the community, and they are fun games to watch! And I’m not talking just about [only] men's basketball, literally every sport”
Read MoreWe heard AI was coming for our jobs, so we set out to see how concerned we should be. We gave Chat GPT the prompt “Write a 500 word satirical article about American University. Include main characters Sylvia Burwell, Clawed Z Eagle, and Wonk Cat. Make the story take place in The Bridge Cafe and be sure to make the story humorous,” and had it write and this article for us. The cover image was generated through NightCafe, an AI imaging software, with the prompt “Sylvia Burwell and Clawed Z Eagle.”
Read MoreThe “Abolish-AUSG” Senator-elect Chandler Eby received an email at 1 AM on Friday notifying him that the AUSG judicial board secretly voted 3-1 that he was unfit for office.
TW: rape, blood, bodily fluids, dark themes
Read MoreLet me be clear, this isn’t something I get paid for, or that I do because it’s fun, or because I believe there’s a level of political gain. Anyone who has any knowledge of survivorship or sexual violence can tell you that speaking out about it scares people in power. They can also tell you that survivors and those who advocate for them are forced out of political and social arenas as well. But I do this work because I want to help people.
Read Morea poem. TW: sexual assault and dark themes
Read MoreUntil this day, he had never questioned his staunch belief in the importance of masks. Now, poor Toby was overcome with a wave of fear as he looked out into a crowd of blonde, converse-wearing, Kramer’s tote bag-carrying, jean-flaring, crystal necklace-bearing, she/her’s and she/they’s of American University. He didn’t even know if she had a septum piercing. Any of them could be Jane from his Gov class who he had asked out to coffee
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