Sex Lives of College Majors

Yeah, we’ve really been thinking about sex too much. We even made this list of kinks, sex positions, and everything in between that different majors probably have. Folks that note factual inaccuracies are encouraged to let The Rival American know in-person, immediately, maybe by candlelight. We’re visual learners.

Public Relations - Public Sex 

We have no justification for this other than its name. Y’all seem like little freaks anyway.*

* The Rival American has been given permission to say this by a PR major. 

CLEG - Engages frequently in Threesomes (or… foursomes!)
Communications. Legal Institutions. Economics. Government. You can’t choose a major. Why do you think you’d be satisfied with one partner? You are in constant need of choice so having threesomes is just right for you. 

History - Uses Toys and Costumes in Bed

Every history major has a different period of time that they are super interested in. They read books, watch movies, and do everything else in their power to immerse themselves in history. What better way to immerse yourself even more than role playing with costumes and weapons from your favorite time period! Dress as a gladiator or ancient king, do your thing. 

“My cannon is almost ready to blow!”

“My sword is begging to be inside you”

Communication - Almost caught having Phone Sex 

Everyday you are taught how to communicate properly. In-person sex is just too simple and straightforward. Phone sex kicks it up a notch and allows you to put your communication skills to the test. 

“Mmm.. yes, talk dirty to me about my job security”

Political Science: LOVES to excessively masturbate (gooning)

Every Poli-Sci major thinks they will be president one day. Wait, what’s that? You work for a random unknown congressman, and so now you think you’re all that? Poli-Sci majors LOVE posting, saying, or doing ANYTHING that’ll make them look good. They love themselves so much. Go touch yourself, then.

Kogod Majors: Circle Jerks with each other

Crypto Bros, Finance Bros, Investor Bros. So many bros! We hear that on the second Friday of every month, all Kogod bros meet on the terrace to release some of their sexual frustration together.

“Yo bro! Your investment growth on your portfolio is totally turning me on, bro.”

SIS Majors: Yearns to Dominate… or be Dominated

Every single SIS student that we have ever interacted with has a way with words and a yearning to be an ambassador. What better way to satisfy your desire to become important as well as your love of writing long winded takes on foreign policy than talking about foreign policy in the bedroom? 

“Mmm.. that large trade deal is certainly bound to satisfy my economy”

“I think I’m ready for some foreign intervention” 

“I’m ready to use some hard power on you”

Theater - Loves to bring a Mask to the bedroom

Anyone who has ever met a theater kid knows they are freaky as fuck. Theater is full of extravagant costumes including masks. Since they are around it so much, it only makes sense that it would carry over to the bedroom (or in this case, maybe get freaky backstage).

Religious Studies - Priest Kink

If you are a religious studies major you definitely have major BEEF with at least one or more religions. Probably some trauma too. Religion can impact everything in your life, including sex. So when you see a man in power, talking about religion, looking sharp and holy, a priest kink may just wander into your world. Or bedroom.

Philosophy - Frequently dabbles in Auto Sadism or Masochism 

Why are you getting a philosophy degree? What are you going to do with that? You must like seeing yourself suffer everyday so why wouldn’t it carry over to the bedroom? 

Education - Has a mildly concerning Professor Kink 

You are studying to become an educator. Clearly you like being in class. And who is teaching these classes? Professors. Professors to look at all day long. We have a strong hunch you think about them all night long too.

Film - Films their own Amatuer Porn

Everyday you guys learn how to make movies. You are around cameras, write scripts, and play around with lighting. It's only natural to assume the mind wanders to more adult themes, so why not put your camera skills to good use and make some stellar content?

Journalism - Loves to read (or write!) Erotic Fiction 

Journalists are always on the hunt for a new story. Often they read others stories to gain inspiration for their own. It just makes sense that they’d try their hand at writing their own Erotic Fiction, perhaps gained by doing some very personal investigating.

We can assure you NO ONE at The Rival has written any sort of Erotic Fiction that we know of… (we are unsure about Matt and Joey)

Econ - Inflation Fetish

If you do not know what it is, keep it that way.

Math - 69ing. 

Of course your favorite pose would be 69ing. It includes numbers! 

Computer Science - Huh? We couldn’t provide answer due to lack of information.