She ought to be locked up and never released: Accounts from the harrowing production of Disney’s Cruella
by Carlo Zahl-Battle
Following the recent release of the trailer for the film Cruella, sources tied close to the production are opening up about their harrowing experiences in working on another soulless Disney live-action remake. With many stories saying that lead actress Emma Stone (of Movie 43 fame) remained in character at all times as Cruella de Vil on set. These stories along with the many chaotic events tied to the production of Cruella prove that this has been one of the most eventful productions of a Disney live-action remake yet.
Multiple actors and extras on Cruella, who’ve chosen to remain anonymous for fear of the Mouse, have given several accounts of what working with Emma Stone was like. Stone partook in method acting in the role of Cruella de Vil. One anonymous actress, whose name rhymes with Shemma Thompson, told The Rival “It was properly ridiculous. She took the whole bloody thing too seriously if you ask me. I mean honestly, who would methodically act a character whose greatest enemy is a dog?” Many extras reportedly complained to Disney H.R. about Stone “hotboxing” the set with cigarette smoke and how they were all required to wear giant fur coats whenever “Ms. de Vil” was on set.
In a bizarre interview last week with Access Hollywood, celebrity dog trainer Cesar Milan, who consulted on the film had many things to say about Emma Stone and her on-set antics. When asked by Mario Lopez about working with Emma Stone, Milan barely shuddered the statement, “Coats and cigarettes, so many coats and cigarettes''. As if caught in a trance, Milan proceeded to mumble this statement several more times but stopped talking when a red dot mysteriously appeared on his forehead. Mario Lopez was very confused.
Production for Cruella was briefly halted in September 2019 due to joint mass protests from two unexpected groups: Film nerds and Vegans. Many film nerds actively protested the production of Cruella citing that they were sick and tired of Disney ruining their childhoods with these live-action remakes. When asked by a secret Rival journalist about why they were protesting the film, many of the film nerds said they were bored and wanted to leave their basements to get some exercise.
Joining the film nerds were many vegans, who protested the film due to concerns about the treatment of Dalmatians on set. Little did they know that Disney instituted an all CGI dog policy for the film's production. You’re probably thinking right now that if there were mass protests during the production of a Disney film, you would have heard about it. The reason the media did not cover these protests was because no one cares what film nerds have to say and all the vegans were too tired to give any interviews.
Despite its long and eventful production cycle, filming for Cruella successfully concluded November 2019, with the film originally set to premiere on December 23, 2020. Due to COVID, the film is set for release on May 28 through Disney+. Where customers will have to pay an extra $30 if they want to see Disney’s Joker get defeated by dogs instead of SOCIETY!