AU Announces “Rock Paper Scissors” Tournament To Decide Roommates, Faculty, Staff on Campus

by Natalie Peek

Unsure of how to decide who, if anyone, will be on campus in fall, AU Forward and OCL decides to have Rock Paper Scissors Tournament.

With their new AU Forward plan slicing residential life in half,  American University Office of Campus Life (OCL)  has come up with a foolproof method for determining who will come back to campus: a best two out of three rock, paper, scissors tournament. 

“Look, we don’t want people to think we’re prioritizing freshmen and sophomores on campus next semester so they don’t complete their core requirements at a community college or online learning college instead of at American University,” said an administrator in OCL, “we want to make students feel that it really isn’t our choice here either, we’re a community of care,  it’s truly all up to a good ol’ game of chance: Rock Paper Scissors.”

OCL will release the bracket for the tournament in the next few weeks, once they determine how many finalists they can have on campus in the fall. Students should expect an email with the official rules of the game. “Participants will be randomly paired and use the University’s Zoom license. Only rock, paper and scissors can be used -- no “shoot” or “rocket” or other region specific addendum. Scissors beats paper, rock beats scissors, and paper still beats rock.”  Students can elect to go on to “finalist” rounds after they have won their position on campus, in which the winner can get three additional COVID-19 tests throughout the semester and a Clawed Z Eagle plushie with special AU Blue Crew mask. 

The Rival is still pursuing options to stream these competitions live, and whether or not we can accept bets to raise funds for the coming year.