Rival Remedies #2

Written by Nora Lewis and Greta Redleaf

Inspired by this brave soul who shared their deepest and darkest problems for your 

entertainment? Go here to send in your problems!

“I’m suspicious that somebody I know is faking an accent. I run into them semi-often and have known them for like a year and a half and I’ve noticed a British accent slowly developing. It used to not be there at all, then it would show up occasionally, but now it’s always there. I’ve also noticed it slip a couple times when we’ve hung out but it’s rare enough that nobody pays much mind to it… Of course it’s totally fine if that’s what he wants to rock with, but it’s kinda just throwing me for a loop. I guess I wanna know what the hell is up with that or at least find peace in getting this off my chest.” - Ernest

Dear Ernest,

Thank you so incredibly much for sending this our way. The Rival Remedies strives to answer the wackiest questions possible, and your problem is definitely wacky. We hope you find some peace knowing that we both think this is really weird too. Here are some tips we thought out to help you uncover the truth:

First things first, try and hang out with him. If you've already established trust, people are more inclined to tell you their accent-related secrets. Causally ask to get lunch, drinks, or coffee. If that doesn't work, throw a Great Gatsby party (and invite us) and wait for your Daisy Buchanan to show. The point is to get closer to him and get to know him better. And, hypothetically speaking of course, if it just so happens that there is alcohol at this party, studies show that people tend to open up more when intoxicated

Once you get to know him, listen closely for slip-ups in his vocab and terminology. See if the accent comes out if he is more stressed or when he is more relaxed. Learn more about his past and family. You’ll have to become a 1920s film noir detective to crack this case (see Spider-Noir and Perry Mason for inspiration).

Let's say you can't befriend him. You will really have to go full detective mode. Begin interviewing close contacts, purchase a fake mustache and a trench coat, and develop a transatlantic accent. This is a very subtle way to get information. If that also fails, recruit a bisexual with too much time on their hands; they always discover the truth. As for you Ernest, please keep The Rival American updated, we are dedicated to figuring this mystery out. And to this “British” person masquerading their accent…….. We’re on to you.

Best of luck! 

Greta and Nora