Local AU woman upset that her boyfriend won’t take off his niche politician costume.

Written by Imanau A. Lum.

IT’S BEEN OVER A MONTH: A woman who once showed off her new Hilltern boyfriend at parties is now too embarrassed to be seen with him on campus. 

After weeks of convincing, Christina Channings (19) finally caved in to her Hilltern boyfriend’s WONK fantasy of dressing up as AOC and Bernie Sanders for Halloween. Unfortunately for her, it didn’t take a lot of boozy compliments from strangers to convince her boyfriend to stay in costume after the holiday ended.

“Ever since Halloweekend, our dates have been nothing but one-sided conversations about fracking,” says Christina. “And when the check arrives he begs me for my financial support.”

Christina’s friends have also voiced their concerns about the boyfriend’s behavior.

“He doesn’t know any of our names,” says Christina’s roommate, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retribution. “He has met us on at least 5 different occasions and still calls us ‘the American people.’” 

The Rival reached out to Christina’s boyfriend on Instagram for any comments regarding his new identity, but his only response was a flier for the next AU Democratic Socialist meeting.

More to come (not). 

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this work are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.