Conspiracy: Spring Break Placed Strategically to Distract from Good AU Sports Team

by the Editorial Board

Listen, we get that sports is a hard sell at a school where the average student knows more about the State of the Union than the Super Bowl. Sports aren’t for everyone, and for the most part, we won’t blame you for resisting the Athletic Department’s bribes of free pizza and EagleBucks raffles to attend games.

We do, however, believe there is one AU team that deserves every true WONK’s attention right now. While you’ve been gone on spring break, your #2 seeded Eagles have breezed through the quarter and semifinals of the women’s basketball Patriot League tournament with a 54-48 win over Lafayette on Monday and a dominant 70-48 win over Boston on Thursday night, setting them up for a showdown against #4 Bucknell for the Patriot League crown and a spot in the coveted NCAA tournament at noon this Sunday in Bender Arena. If that wasn’t enough to convince you to hightail it to Bender on your way back from break, here’s a quick rundown of why we think you should consider ~occasionally~ caring about AU sports.

• The Eagles have given no shortages of things for their fans to be proud of, as the team has been on a tear all season, going 22-8 overall and 13-5 in league play. This winning streak includes an astounding 15-1 record at home. They’ll look to close out the season with a perfect 13-0 at home against their Patriot League opponents in the championship game on Sunday. AU’s been aided in particular by their strong defensive gameplay, including the fourth-best 3pt defense in the NCAA this season, holding their opponents to only 24.5% from behind the arc. In non-sports terminology, they’re really good.

• AU is led by a strong senior class of 1st-Team All-Patriot League selection Jade Edwards, in addition to 3rd-Team All-Patriot League selections Emily Fisher and Taylor Brown. The trio looks to close our their AU careers with a Patriot League championship and a place in the NCAA tournament.

• Basketball is one of two AU athletic programs along with lacrosse that features an all-women coaching staff. If that’s not enough, they’re also a runaway favorite for Most Wholesome Coaching Staff Anywhere. Led by Head Coach Megan Gebbia, the four-person squad has worked at AU since the 2014-2015 season, and this season Coach Gebbia became the all-time winningest head coach in program history. The staff previously won two other Patriot League titles with AU in 2015 and 2018.

• We as a school have a rather prominent LGBTQ+ presence on campus, something that we at The Rival like to celebrate. As the hosts of AU’s annual Pride game, women’s basketball has proven to be one of the biggest allies on campus and prominently features out Assistant Coach and LGBTQ+ advocate, Nikki Flores.

• Clawed will be there, and there’ll probably be free pizza if you show up in person. We hope this isn’t the deciding factor for you to go to the game, but if it is, so be it.

• If you aren't going to be back in DC in time to support the team in person, the game will air nationally on CBS Sports.

The bottom line is that AU’s women’s basketball team consists of unproblematic, wholesome girlboss queens who deserve all of your support. Just this once, we think you should consider giving sports a try.

The Patriot League Championship will take place Sunday, March 13th at 12PM EDT at Bender Arena. All students get in free with their student IDs, and tickets can otherwise be purchased here. The game will also stream nationally on CBS Sports.