Tinder Tips
by Finn O’Donnell
Valentine's Day is never easy for single people. Seeing couples flood Instagram and Snapchat with corny, sweet, definitely-staged-but-still-jealousy-inducing photos makes spending the day alone miserable. But instead of wallowing in your solitary sadness and eating those heart-shaped chocolates you bought for yourself, use our helpful Tinder Tips. Follow these four simple steps to get more Tinder matches and ensure you won’t be alone for next Valentine’s Day!
1) Photos
Your Tinder profile should be an accurate reflection of who you are. Be sure to include candid shots. This can include photos of you eating at TDR, walking to class, at a party, sleeping, etc. Anyone worth your love won’t be swiping right on superficial selfies that are little more than swimsuit pictures and coffee in Dupont Circle, so definitely make sure your profile doesn’t look like that. If at all possible, include a picture with a fish you caught- it shows you can provide for a match.
It’s also important that your profile reflects that you’re a fun, social person. You can fulfill this requirement by including lots of group photos. The more, the merrier!
2) Bio
Your bio should tell prospective matches exactly what you’re looking for. Tinder gives you only 500 characters to tell your future partner all about you, so make every word count! Start with your relationship history, describe all of your kinks, take a position on the Israel/Palestine conflict, and make sure to emphasize that you’re looking for a relationship. That last step ensures that anyone just looking to hook up swipes left. And, to save space, don’t forget to use emojis!
If you want to take your profile to the next level, utilize the app’s non-bio features. For example, you can link your Spotify and Instagram to show off your music taste and vacation photos from seventh grade. Don’t forget to click “yes” on drinking, smoking, weed, and hard drugs to show that you can hang.
3) The first message
Every love connection starts with a great pickup line. But don’t turn to the internet: Cosmopolitan’s “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple” will only drive away the future parent of your children (if you’re not ready for that level of commitment, you probably shouldn’t be on tinder). Instead, use The Rival’s signature pickup line to ensure every match responds quickly: “If I were a highway, would you ride me all night long?”
This classic line is a surefire way to find love, as it references both a classic children’s movie and sex! Accompanied by a Lightning McQueen “Ka-Chow!” GIF, it’s irresistible.
4) Moving forward
Many potential romances are born and die on Tinder. When (not if) your new match responds to your smooth pickup line with a love sonnet, be sure to use our quick trick to take things to the next level. The trick is easy: ask for their number, and FaceTime them ASAP. This method proves just how interested you are and gives both of you a chance to see more of your candid selves.
Armed with these Rival-patented Tinder Tips, you’ll be sure to find a love connection with ease. By next Valentine’s Day, Sylvia Burwell can personally guarantee that you’ll be the one posting obnoxious Valentine’s Day couple photos.