Are You The Old Soul of Your Friend Group? A Self-Help Guide to Figuring Out Why Your Friend Accidentally Called You “Mom” That One Time.

by Jackie Lamb

Just like K-pop boy bands, every friend group has a different cast of characters, from the goofy one that seems to only speak in witty tongues to the quiet but insightful one who always has the best book recommendations. One of the most cherished members of any group is the “old soul” friend, full of sage knowledge such as “No, you can’t get herpes from a toilet seat” and “Stop crying. They’re literally a finance major, you can do better.”  

Does this “old soul” sound like you? Read further and see if you relate to any of the following items to find out if you are the old soul friend!

Warning: Some (or most of these) statements will apply to you. Not that that’s a bad thing! After all, with great age comes great knowledge… sometimes.

  1. When you see an acronym like ICYMI or TFW and have to Google it.

  2. You grew up with the O.G. iCarly.

  3. You saw at least one of the Harry Potter movies when it opened in theaters.

  4. Justin Bieber haircuts were all the rage in middle school (and Justin Bieber was the “it” boy of the times.)

  5. You can have a conversation with a 95-year-old about your favorite Cary Grant movie (for you young souls, he was the Timothée Chalamet of the ‘50s).

  6. Staying up past 9PM seems like an Olympic sport.

  7. You’ve seen The Flintstones and The Jetsons at least twice (bonus points if you used to take Flintstones vitamins).

  8. You can remember a time before Instagram... **sigh**.

  9. You’ve ever walked into a room and then immediately forgotten why you went there.

  10. For all the WONKS: “It’s Congressional Hall, not Duber Hall.”

  11. Clubbing seems like nothing more than a way to lose money & end up covered in spilled drinks before they’ve been ingested and if you’re not so lucky… after.

  12. You remember those super cute Japanese erasers from way back in elementary school.

  13. Colin Firth? Oh, you mean Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice (1995).

And last but not least…

      15. You refer to this item as one of the following:

Jackie Old Soul 2.jpg

  1. “Wand”

  2. “Clicker”

  3. “Channel changer”

After you’ve finished reading this, don’t forget that… you know, that… that thing you were gonna… ah, never mind.

Culture, SatireJackie Lamb