Meet Your New Classmates; The Majors of Halloween’s Favorite Villains
By Nora Lewis
Between Kogood students, people who talk back to the professor during class, and the person who drinks Monster Energy in your 8 am class, there are already some scary characters on campus! Just when you thought the student body was spooky enough, here’s where your favorite horror movie figures would end up if they decided to go to American University.
Michael Meyers (“Halloween”)- Political Science
Michael Myers from the “Halloween” movies is characterized as having “no reason, no conscience, no understanding, [not] even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong”. What other major could he be besides political science? Myers is the type of Poli Sci major to choose the most extreme methods of solving political problems, and making everyone else in the class wonder if he’s going to end up being the inspiration for an episode of Criminal Minds. Also, he’s weirdly obsessed with his sister... Take what you will from that.
Jigsaw (“Saw”)- SIS
Jigsaw from the “Saw” franchise would be your average SIS student. While he may commit some human rights violations, Jigsaw truly believes he’s doing good in the world. He sees himself as the one person intelligent and determined enough to choose who deserves to live or die. Sure, a few people get some teeny tiny booboos, but it’s all for the greater good! Need I go on?
Jason Vorhees (“Friday the 13th”)- STEM
Jason Vorhees from the “Friday the 13th” franchise is basically a childlike zombie, with his shambling gait, lack of speech, and complete lack of understanding of sexual encounters. This lines up perfectly with just about every STEM major on campus. STEM kids are notoriously burnt out from having to do complicated equations for homework (or whatever else STEM kids at AU do) and aren’t the most socially gifted. The only thing Jason needs is a TI-84 and really bad handwriting to fit right into this major.
Chucky (“Child’s Play”) - Anthropology + WGSS double major
Chucky from the “Child’s Play” movies and various spin-offs would be a shining example of the average CAS student- studying Anthropology and Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. Chucky’s origins come from using voodoo to put his soul into a doll, so he would need some cultural knowledge in order to achieve this. Chucky also recently made headlines by showing his support for the LGBTQ+ community and having a genderfluid child named Glenn, making him officially the “wokest” horror movie villain to date! He’s probably one of the only respectful WGSS white male students at AU, and better yet, he won’t mansplain during class <3.
Pennywise (“IT”) - Business
Pennywise is literally a clown. Enough said.
Freddy Krueger (“ A Nightmare on Elm Street”) - Psychology
Freddy Krueger from “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is known for infiltrating his victims’ dreams and subconscious, therefore making him a perfect candidate to be a Psychology major. He definitely leans a little too much into Freudian psychology... like enough to make everyone in the class think he has an Oedipus complex and tries to find the “implication” of even the strangest of dreams. The original actor who played Krueger even stated that he symbolizes “childhood abandonment and subconscious fears”. What’s more Freudian than that?
Hannibal Lecter (“The Silence of the Lambs”) - Psychology and Human Anatomy
Doctor Hannibal Lector would have to be a psychology major and a human anatomy minor- it’s two of his favorite interests! He’d be the one student to show up to lab classes in a suit and tie who is always trying to outwit the professor and teach the class. Getting paired up with him for a group project would suck since he’d always try to psychoanalyze and figure out your deepest fears instead of working on the damn PowerPoint presentation like he’s supposed to.
Be sure to double-check who you sit next to when you go to your next class, it just might be the last mistake you ever make! And if you know someone who matches up to any of these descriptions, maybe try getting them to not murder people- I already have too much to stress about.