To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You’s Surprisingly Real Commentary On Relationship Insecurity

This review contains spoilers

by Maria Russinovich

To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You (which from here on out will be referenced as TATB2) yet again follows the love life of Lara Jean Covey, (played by Lana Condor), a high school junior who is now trying to maneuver her way through a relationship with THE Peter Kavinsky (played by Noah Centineo.) While the plot of this movie is just as much of a mushy, teen romance film as its predecessor, a striking change has come about; Lara’s insecurities within her relationship with Peter.

If you are unfamiliar with the TATB series, here’s a quick summary.Lara Jean wrote love letters to the many boys she had crushes on in her past, and they were sent out by her sister, unbeknownst to Lara Jean. Peter receives a letter, however he is dating a girl named Gen, and Lara Jean and Gen are not friends. Lara Jean eventually ends up with Peter, and all seems well, however throughout the sequel film Gen still remains in the back of Lara Jean’s mind.

TATB2 follows Lara Jean and Peter’s relationship from their first real date, through Valentine’s Day, high school parties, and more. In a turn of events, Lara Jean receives a letter back from one of the boys… she’s loved before. Surprisingly he ends up volunteering at the same retirement home as Lara, (what a coincidence… just kidding, this is a teen romance film.) While I won’t spoil the movie, this new boy named John Ambrose McClaren, what a regal name huh, makes Lara Jean begin to wonder what a relationship would be like if she wasn’t dating such an “it” guy.

On Valentine’s Day, Peter receives a “spam” of valentines in his locker, which Lara Jean sees, and she wishes her boyfriend was “a little bit more anonymous.” John Ambrose is the perfect foil to Peter Kavinsky. He is a reserved and attentive intellectual, whereas Peter is a popular and sometimes aloof athlete. While John Ambrose is definitely the beginning of Lara Jean’s worries about her relationship with Peter, the largest issue she faces is Gen.

There are many instances where Gen, both in-person and within Lara Jean’s head, attempts to make Lara Jean feel insecure in her relationship with Peter. The first example comes when Gen tells Lara Jean that she and Peter would often frequent the restaurant Peter took Lara Jean to for their first date. While Lara Jean thought their first date was “perfect,” her memory of the date is quickly tarnished knowing its history.The next time is when Peter and Lara Jean are having an *intimate* moment in Peter’s car, (hot and spicy, I know) but as this is happening, Lara Jean begins to think, “wow, [Peter’s] really good at this. How is he so good at this?” It is at this moment that Gen materializes in Peter’s car as a figment of Lara Jean’s imagination, and responds to Lara Jean’s question with “how do you think?”

There are more instances throughout the film where Gen tries to intimidate Lara Jean, many of which revolve around Gen and Peter’s time as a couple. The insecurity that Lara Jean is experiencing are the same feelings that so many people feel in a relationship. 

For many people, relationships can be a fantastic thing filled with love, fun, new experiences, and excitement. However, there are also many moments where shreds of doubt can work their way into one’s mind, much like Lara Jean. When the mind wanders, wondering “how is my partner so good at this?” or “have they done this same thing with other partners?” This insecurity comes from a desire to feel unique and special with a partner, as if each relationship is new to the person involved. So, when it comes out that date nights are being recycled, gifts aren’t as unique as one thought, or intimate moments aren’t the first, it can be off-putting. Now, I’m not saying everything has to be a “first” (especially sexual moments) but with the building up of doubt in one’s head can cause “firsts”' with a partner to feel less special.

On the topic of “firsts,” for people who are entering a relationship with someone who has been in one before, but perhaps they themselves have never been in a relationship, this insecurity is only heightened. Speaking from personal experience, I have many emotional blockages as to why I feel insecure in a relationship, and a large one is my habit of overthinking, overanalyzing, and over-worrying about every aspect of a relationship. I often times am Lara Jean, and while I have been fortunate enough to never have to experience a “Gen” in my life, the threat and worry is still there. No one wants to dwell on their partner's past experiences, but understanding what those experiences are helps to subside any overthinking that can happen. People say curiosity killed the cat, and in many cases, it can kill a relationship too.

So, while I won’t spoil the movie for you, I do highly recommend you watch it for the feel-good teen romance garbage that only Noah Centineo can deliver. I hope To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You can start to show that your insecurities are common, and your worries are shared not just by so many other real people, but also the characters in Netflix's newest teen romance.