I Don’t Fuck With Flannel

This piece was submitted by a member of the LGBTQ+ community at American University as part of the Rival American’s Pride Week. Their views do not necessarily represent that of The Rival American or its staff.

By Anonymous

To start I don’t look gay.

What does that mean, you ask, to look gay? How do you look gay?

Excellent question.

Do I need to invest in flannel? Get a pixie cut? Talk about women like a frat boy that prefers natty lite?

I don’t know how to look gay.

To back it up I don’t come off as gay.

What does that mean, you ask, how do you seem gay? How do you conclude that?
Fantastic inquiry.

Do I introduce myself as bisexual to everyone I meet? Do I hold hands with my boyfriend less? Talk about women like a frat boy that prefers natty lite?

I don’t know how to seem gay.

Why does this matter? You ask because this seems like common sense...people can be gay, queer, LGBTQA, non-binary and not look like anything not act like anything. People are what they are and it’s not up to you to say so.

It matters because I have to defend myself every time I say who I am, every time someone says “oh you don’t look like you like girls”.

It matters because people I know say “oh he says he’s straight but have you heard his voice”.

It matters because “oh you’re bi you just can’t make up your mind” isn’t fucking okay for you to say to me and never was.

It matters because that isn’t anyone’s to speculate on.

Don’t invalidate me and make me fit a mold that doesn’t exist. I’m not going to adopt lumberjack chic or name five brothers to shoot the shit with.

So what does gay look like?

Well I know gay looks like me.

And I’m thankful for that.