The Best Places to Make Out With Your New Floorcest Relationship

By Megan McNamara

So, you’ve done it. You’ve crossed to the next step of your relationship with your next door neighbor and now you want the whole world to know. We’ve all been there. But what’s the best way to shout it from the rooftops without actually doing so? An Instagram post might work, but that’s one and done. You’ve tried your dorm, but your roommate keeps saying that it’s “making them uncomfortable” and you’ve “ruined the vibe of the floor.” What’s a person to do? Never fear, because we’ve compiled a list of the best places to mack with your floorcest relationship.

The Waiting Area for Panera

Any of the on-campus restaurants could work, for that matter, but Panera gets the most foot traffic for optimal eyes on you. Who doesn’t wanna see their neighbors as you suck your new partner’s face in front of everyone’s food! Bonus points if you do it right after class gets out. The Panera workers should get spray bottles to ward handsy couples like you guys off.

Hurst Hall’s Terrace

Want something a little more secluded? Head to this building’s basement for a romantic getaway. Bask in the time with your partner, surrounded by the most hideous combination of blue and brown you’ve ever seen and peeling tile floors. You might find some nuclear waste or discarded chemical weapons around, but that just adds to the risk factor. Maybe you’ll even find Narnia down there!

Either Convenience Store

Bonus points if it’s in the line.

The Quad

Because everyone wants to see you and your loved one outside on their way to their 8 am class. You should definitely do it when everyone and their mother is sitting outside trying to enjoy some nice weather. Especially when all the high school tours are here, I’m sure the parents would love to see your physical declarations of love as they figure out if this school is worth dropping 70k a year on (it’s not). You’ll probably single handedly bring down our acceptance rate by another 5% if you do it consistently enough.

The New Imagined TDR

Don’t let your tuition go to waste. Go to town in the rendering of the planned dining hall renovations. You have to prepare yourself and your partner so you guys can be the first ones to christen the new TDR when it opens (PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY DO THIS IM BEGGING YOU HEATHENS THIS IS A JOKE).