The Gayest Movies That Are Technically Not Gay
By Shannon Kane
Are you queer? Are you desperate for a movie about queer culture that doesn’t end with the most devastating plotline of all time? Unfortunately, the list of films that check both of those boxes is quite slim. Until the Hollywood powers-that-be grace us with some better options than the classic queer tragedies, I have compiled a list of deeply queer-coded films to scratch that itch.
Pitch Perfect
Bechloe is real and I will die on this hill. The scene where Chloe approaches Becca in the communal showers is one for the history books in terms of both sexual tension and weird straight girl behavior. They even filmed a kiss scene that did not make the final cut (homophobic).
2. Ocean’s 8
You’re telling me there are eight beautiful women in a room together and not ONE of them is queer? You lie. Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett clearly want each other so bad-- they are literally partners in crime! Lifelong friends! I don’t think that all women have crushes on each other, but these two definitely do. The tension between them is off the charts. Cate even eats a spoonful of pasta off of Sandy’s fork, and the two lock eyes and smile. Tell me you don’t hear “Rain On Me” playing softly in the background.
3. Burlesque
Christina Aguleira cannot stop staring at the other dancers. If I were to take a shot every time she was caught looking or said something along the lines of “They’re so beautiful,” I’d be dead before Cher smashes Kristen Bell’s car window.
4. Dead Poet’s Society
Between those preppy uniforms and Neil’s choice to pursue his passion for theater, this movie is pretty gay. Just saying.
5. Jennifer’s Body
Jennifer eats men. She kisses Needy and (spoiler) kills her boyfriend. The director is also on record as saying Needy is in love with Jennifer, although this is never explicitly depicted in the film. Megan Fox, who plays Jennifer, is bisexual, which brings another level of queerness to an already fruity film.
Bonus points for actual queer movies with positive representation (that are also silly):
1. Fire Island
A genuinely queer cast with stars like Bowen Yang, Matt Rogers, Joel Kim, and Margaret Cho hits New York’s Fire Island for a gaycation! Hookups and hijinks ensue, but the ending is ultimately very heartwarming.
2. D.E.B.S
The leader of a spy girl group falls for the woman she is supposed to take out! This movie has everything: plaid skirts, hot girls with weapons, choreographed fight scenes, early-2000s humor, and enemies to lovers!
These movies are goofy, but why is it so difficult to make a movie about gay people without focusing on the struggle to come out, the trauma we endure, the myth that gay people are inherently unfaithful, or a forbidden romance period piece? While progress is certainly being made in the film industry, movies about queer joy are few and far between. It is of the utmost importance that queer people are portrayed in an accurate way, especially during the rise of homophobia and this new era of anti-trans legislation. The idea that drag queens are “corrupting” children is so unimaginably false. To deny children knowledge of the world of queerness is significantly more dangerous than a queen lip-syncing to a Whitney Houston song. I hope that the next generation of queer people can grow up seeing themselves on the screen, rather than spending hours on the internet searching for gay movies and being met only with Call Me By Your Name and Brokeback Mountain.