Everything You Need To Know For Super Bowl LIII

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by Lucas Trevor

This weekend, the New England Patriots and Los Angeles Rams will be taking the field in Super Bowl LIII (53, for those that don’t understand Roman Numerals). The game will be played between commercial breaks in Atlanta, Georgia and feature Maroon 5 for a halftime performance.

In order to prepare the Rival’s sports viewing audience - as small as it may be - I have been tasked once again to breakdown something in the world of athletics.

However, I cannot in good conscience just write a straightforward article. I refuse to simply breakdown the New England defense, the importance of this game to the people of St. Louis, or talk about the weather conditions. I cannot do this because something much more important has come to my attention. Something that makes me question the integrity of the league as a whole, and the effect it has on this country. This realization has shaken me to my core, and made me question many, if not all, of my beliefs about what it truly means to be an American.

Readers... Tom Brady kisses his children on the lips.

Now I know what you’re thinking. This is irrelevant. We should focus on the game, not the player’s personal lives, but how can we? In an age when sports and politics are connected, how can we ignore something so disgusting and gross?

No, I’m not just “overreacting” or “making a big deal out of nothing.” Look at this. And also this. And especially this.

How can you be okay with this? The fact of the matter is Tom Brady is not just an athlete, he’s a role model. To so many young children he is someone to look up to and emulate. Can we really let our kids see this? Can we really let this stand?

Because it goes further.

Not only does Mr. Brady kiss his children on the lips, he kisses his parents on the lips too. We simply cannot stand for something so gross, so vile, so disrespectful to the American people. The man is 41 years old, and he is kissing his parents on the mouth. The fact that this has been normalized says more about what has become permissible in American culture than anything else.

How can a game, which stands for freedom, liberty, and so much more, allow this gross act to penetrate its most sacred of stages? Yes, American soldiers at home and abroad fight for Mr. Brady’s right to do this, but for him to disrespect that sacrifice so blatantly is quite frankly indefensible. How will you explain this to your children, America? How can you call this man your G.O.A.T.?

In the past, Tom Brady has come under fire for his support of Donald Trump. You know, the proto-fash currently in the White House. And like sure that’s bad. We definitely don’t WANT one of the most recognizable faces in America supporting an ethnic nationalist, but Brady also kisses his kids on the lips and that's icky. In my own analysis, while his support is damning, nothing can compare to the heinous and despicable act of kissing close family members on the mouth.

Why do I bring this up? Why do I mention this just days before Brady plays in his 9th Super Bowl? Because we shouldn’t let him. We the football watching public should not let this poor excuse for a system quarterback infect the playing field and the world's stage. We must demand that Roger Goodell and the NFL suspend Brady until he apologizes to his family, his teammates,  and his fans. Tom Brady has broken the trust of everyone involved.

Finally, for those of you rooting for Brady this weekend, liking the Pats isn’t a personality trait, it’s an indicator you didn’t like Obama because of ‘the way he talked.’ And to those of you supporting the Rams, y’all won the popular vote.

Pats 35 - Rams 20